Sun, 23 Oct 2005

Maybe i haven't been clear about what i mean by needing D/s to get into the S/m, so here is a "fantasy" i thought of last night. You call from Your place, saying You will be arriving soon. You tell me to be wearing nothing and to be waiting at the door for You. i can have a blanket to kneel on if i need to, but discomfort gets extra points. We get off the phone and i am left knowing that soon You will arrive. i move to the door and take a blanket with me. Kneeling that long would just plain hurt. i kneel, naked, waiting for Your arrival. When You arrive, You immediatly have me remove Your boots and place Your slippers on You, then You have me stand, remove Your coat, and hang it for You. You then, taking me by the hair, turn me around and kiss me. You stroke my face, and praise me for doing such a good job. You leave me there, as You move to the couch, finding i have put the hockey game on. You kind of laugh knowing it was on for me, but glad just the same. You call me over then, and allow me to sit on the floor and have a smoke. You allow me to watch the game quietly. me always knowing that You are there, that You own me, and that You can do with me as You wish. Every once in a while You say things like, "enjoying the game my slut?" or say "come here and give your Master a kiss". You do let me do my painting, again giving me slight reminders of who i am to You. Eventually it is time for bed. You send me to the bed room to strip, to make sure the covers are tidy and all blankets are on the bed. You have me check the alarm clock so there will be no disturbances. You have me get out the cuffs and have me place them beside the alarm clock. You have me kneel at Your side of the bed, and wait for You to arrive. You have me undress You, using only one hand and my mouth. You enjoy watching me struggle. You make it harder by holding my head still with my hair. There is no threat of punishment, just the idea of struggle. Once You are naked, You slip into bed and order me around to my side. You tell me i can climb into bed. We cuddle and talk. You whisper in my ear that i am to stay in bed all night, and if i don't think i can do that, You will cuff me to the bed. You ask me to make the choice. You ask me which i think i can do. You decide in the end You want me changed, attached to the bed. This is the D/s i am talking about, the D/s i need. i don't need the beatings as much as You think i do. i need the D/s. i need You to take control. i don't need the pain as much as You think. i need to know what it feels like to be at Your feet again. i need to know what it feels like to be Yours again. The pain You inflict is part of it but it is always the same pain. Start of slow and get hard fast and furious. i NEED the D/s. i am submissive. i need to submit. Submitting to pain is one thing, submitting to You is another.