Mon, 6 Feb 2006

Thank You for tonight. Thank You for listening to my fears. Thank You for saying sorry for what You said on Friday. Thank You for letting me be playful. Thank You for pushing me. Thank You for stopping when You could see i really was distressed. i don't understand why the tying up of my hands and the thought of tickling or licking bothers me. It just does. It is this sudden onset of utter terror, panic and fear. It is an automatic fight and get away thing rushing threw my head. i just thought this was stuff You needed to know. i am also wondering what, if not anger, it was You felt last night. You pulled away a bit after i asked You to get off me, and untied my hands. i guess i am still scared that my reactions will push You away. With You not telling me what You were feeling, i felt like i did something wrong by my reacting. That was why i said sorry. Tonight wasn't a test. i really was distressed and tried hard not to react like i normally do. Thank You for the pain play. i still say i have a small ass.