Feeling "off"

i don't know what is going through my head today. It is almost like i am at the beginning of an anxiety attack, and am in a holding pattern where my body is jumpy, my head is swirling, and i don't feel settled. i wish i would just either move into full attack or calm enough to feel settled.

i know i have been thinking about Mike a lot. i have been missing Him constantly. i have bouts of tears, and bouts of joy. i keep looking up stuff. Looking for pictures of Him or us. Looking for emails He sent over the years. Looking for Him everywhere. i really want Him here with me. i have wanted Him back for the last few days. God i miss Him. i could really do with Him being here right now.

Maybe it is the lack of sleep. Maybe that is it. That would make sense. OK, no more thinking away how i am feeling. (Therapist talking in my ear) i need to just feel. i need to let myself just go with how i feel. i need to just cry if i feel the need (like right now). i know i have been keeping in how crappy i have been feeling. i have been ignoring the signs of holding everything inside. The need to yell. The quick to temper. The feeling of being unsettled.

Ok. Other stuff.

The willow trees in my neighbour's yard were cut down.

Here is the before......And here is the after.......

No more trees. The beautiful willow trees are gone. all that are left are the trunks. It was sad last weekend, watching the untrained men cutting these down. i yelled across the fence that i want some of the pieces from the trees. Hopefully i can get those.

Also, i finished one of my projects at ceramics. Here is my ugly troll guy

He is an incense holder. i think he is mighty cute. i am proud of the job i did. i am currently working on 3 other projects. This troll guy was done in acrylics. i am starting to work with under glazes. i soon want to work with glazes.

i got my mark from my reflexology written exam. i needed a 70% to pass. i got an 89%.