MIT's anger and abuse

my options are shrinking. As the MIT gets more and more violent to himself, and speaks more and more about killing Himself, i have, what it seems to be only two options.

1. Try to keep Him as safe from Himself as possible, listen to Him, and console Him as best i can until the referral to a psychiatrist pans out
2. The next time He starts to hurt Himself and talking about wanting to die, i call 911 and get Him to the hospital for emergency evaluation and drugs.

Two options. Only two. i am trying to do the first option. i am trying to protect Him from Himself. The problem is, He is progressing to making plans. He is starting to think about what He wants to do to Himself to die. That means the depression is worse. His hurting Himself is more creative, and getting worse. He managed to scrape the skin off His knuckles by rubbing His fist on the carpet as i was trying to keep Him from hitting Himself in the head. He is also doing that more. Beating on His own temple in anger.

His anger is more also. He comes home angry every day after school. He wakes up angry every day. He gets angry at the smallest thing. His anger is getting out of control. All i can do, is talk Him threw it. Wait for Him to calm down and stay out of His way, unless He starts to hurt Himself again.

i am loosing myself in His depression. i am loosing confidence in my ability to be a Mom. i am loosing confidence in being able to make Him happy. i am questioning every decision i have ever made. i am questioning every decision i am trying to make now.

i don't know how to handle this. If He is in need of drugs, then it means a hospital stay. One long enough to make sure that the drugs do not affect His AHC. i am going to have to battle to keep Him being Him, and not some zombie that is too drugged to think. i don't know if i have that in me. i know, selfish reasoning, but it is still there.

i want to wait it out. i want to wait for the help to arrive. i want to fix it for Him. i want to make Him believe in Himself as much as i believe in Him.