And so the day begins

It is 9:00 on a Saturday. i have no MIT today. He went to respite last night. i will be picking Him up on Sunday.

So far today, i have taken my meds (yay me), made my bed, tidied my room, sorted gifts, started dishes, cleaned off my table, set out and lit candles, planned my week, talked to my sister, and have pulled out the ingredients to bake today. All this has been done before 9:00. On a day i could have slept in.

Why is it, when i give myself time, i feel the need to take control of my house and make it "perfect" in my eyes? Ok, i really do know why. It is because i want some control in my life. The house is the easiest thing to control right now. i can control how it looks, how clean it is, how decorated it is, and how warm it is. i can create a sense of control, by controlling my environment. It may be a false sense of control, but it is what i can actually do.

So for the rest of the day, i will be baking, dusting, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, making, and wrapping. All in the hopes of making myself feel like i am in control of something.

Oh yeah....and it is SNOWING again!!!!!!!

It is now 6:45 in the evening. i have not gotten much done. i made spaghetti for lunch. i made pork roast with potatoes and carrots and onions for dinner. i have done the dishes. i have even put the dishes away. i have had a nap. OH....i did fix the speakers on my computer. Now i can blast Yule/Christmas music while i do wrapping or baking or whatever. i don't know what else to do. Sure i have a list of stuff. i have baking i could do. i have stuff to take into the basement. i have stuff to bring up from the basement. None of which i really want to do. i guess i can have today as a lazy day.