It was perfect for her.

That is the only way to describe how the services went. Enough people to fill the little chapel. Friends and family. Those that loved her.

i feel numb now. i am just numb. i am just tired. i feel drained and lost. A part of me feels like i shouldn't be sad anymore. Sort of how i felt once Mike had been buried and the memorial service was over, and the flowers had died. i know now that it doesn't work that way. E was hoping it would, but she knows it doesn't.

For the first time in almost a month, i haven't talked to E today. It feels strange. i will call her tomorrow. i will see if she needs anything. Maybe i will take her out to Starbucks. Maybe i will just say hi, remind her i am here, and let her be. Just like she did for me after Mike.