Getting out the door

i know i should go out. Heck, i need to get some stuff before the MIT gets home. i need to go to the store and get laundry detergent so the MIT has clean uniforms for tomorrow. i need to go to the drug store for myself. i should be able to get out the door, but i almost can't. Even now i feel the build-up of the stress of just picking out clothes, and walking out the door. i haven't had a panic attack in a while, but it is almost like i am starting one now. So i have to find it in myself to push myself enough to just get my ass out the door. i need to fix my hair, get on real clothes and head out the door. i have to push myself, but it isn't working. i have been planning it for the last 2 hours. Knowing it for the last 2 hours. i have a list of what i have to get. i have the knowledge of what i need to do. i am still sitting here not moving. Not going to get dressed. Not brushing my hair. Just sitting here. Heck, my brain is even planning how i don't have to go out now. i just have to do stuff "later". i know that if i don't go out now, i won't be able to make myself go out later. i won't be able to make myself go to aquafit. i will come up with another excuse to just not go. i know i need to go. i know i need to leave the house. So how do i make myself do it?

OK. Logic might work. Putting one foot in front of the other and do what i have to do. That is all i need to do. Just get up from this machine and do what i have to do, to make myself presentable to the public, and get in my van and do my running around. That is all. So that is what i am going to do. Deep breaths. Just do it (Gods i hate Nike). Just move my ass and get going. Once i jump this hurdle, i will be good. i will be able to continue my day and my week. i know that. So that i s all i have to do. OK. This is me doing it.