Living with It

So, the pain is still in-behind my shoulder blade. It doesn't look like it is leaving any time soon. So i have made a decision. i am going back to normal. i am going to try to reach my goals. i am going back to waterfit. i am going back to my life, and pretend the pain isn't there. i am doing all of this because i don't like how i feel right now. i feel fat, and lazy. i fell like a blob. i need to get moving again, and just deal. Last week was too much laying around and doing nothing. This week will be different. i will be going back to my life.

Part of the reason for this change in attitude, is i tried on some of my summer clothes from last year. Yeah, not a pretty sight. The other reason, was that i did sweep off my patio yesterday, and liked doing something physical again. i need to get back in control of moving around. i need, and want, to do more moving. i need, and want. to follow the goals i set for myself each week. i need, and want, to feel somewhat normal again.

This morning i woke up to the sound of a woodpecker. It is back. i have missed it. Years ago, when i first moved in here, there was a nice woodpecker that lived in a tree near my unit. The sound of it looking for food was so loud. The constant "tap-tap-tap" would drive me nuts, or bring me to a smile. From the sounds of this new woodpecker, it is in a tree fairly close, but not close enough to drive me insane. i love this time of year, when the trees all come back to life. When the birds are happy and chirping away. When i can open my blinds and have sun shine into my living room and warm me. When the nights have a slight chill. i love this time of year. Today will be spent doing more on the patio. No dressing it up with flowers yet. It isn't warm enough just yet. Instead i will be cleaning out the flower boxes of last year, and thinking about what to put in them this year. i also will be thinking about what changes i want to make this year. What i want to add, and what i want to take away.

So that is where i am. i am living with the sound of the woodpecker. i am living with the pain and working around it. i am living and moving and fulfilling my responsibilities.