Blech!!

i am still sick. i am on antibiotics, in the hope of the cold not reaching my lungs and to kill the sinus infection that i have. Some days i feel better. Other days i feel like crap. i just want to feel like normal for an entire day. i feel out of control, and can't seem to get back on track with eating right and checking my blood sugars as often as i should be. i have been missing medication times, and basically, not taking care of myself. i need to get back to that again. Sounds like time for another "promises" post to myself.

All my Christmas decorations are up. Tomorrow is tree cutting day. It is a family tradition that i didn't want to ignore this year just because it won't be the same as the last 6 years. It was a family tradition for a long time. As long as i can remember. Mom would make hot chocolate and rice crispy squares. Dad would be in charge of the tools to cut the trees and load them on the vehicle. We would all climb into the car and head off to the same place, year after year. Other family, extended family, would also be there. We would trek out of the warmth of the car, and head off to find 2 perfect trees. Yes 2. Both for my Nana so she could pick the one she liked best. Later i would learn (since i never caught on) that the second tree was the one Santa put up each Christmas morning at our house. Later on, we had to change tree lots, but the tradition continued.

Once the MIT was with us, we changed things a bit. One year we got 3 trees. Soon after, Nana decided not to have a real tree, so we only got 2, one for me, and one for Mom and Dad. the first year with the MIT was fun. He was all bundled up in a warm sleeper, with a hot water bottle, inside a box like knitted baby bag. He was the warmest of the bunch. We pulled Him along in a little baby sled. Later, Dad would help me mount the tree in its stand and i would be left to decorate it as i saw fit. All fond memories.

When Mike entered the picture, things changed again. The first year He didn't join us. He was too knew to the relationship for me to feel comfortable including Him. After the first year, He would make a point of coming tree hunting with us. We would all load into Mom and Dad's van, and head out. He really seemed to enjoy Himself. He seemed to like to side with Dad and Sis as they pointed to trees at the edge of the parking area, so we would have to go trekking into the "wild". That didn't last long. He soon got into the spirit of actually hunting for the right tree, and would then mount it in the stand for me. Last year, we went to a brand new lot and it was wonderful. All proceeds from the sales of the trees went to the handicapped horse riding school. They have a bus service (that is wheelchair accessible) to get you to the trees. There was a Christmas store where you could get ornaments and decorations. There was a path with cutouts to take your picture in. There was a stand to get hotdogs, hamburgers, hot cider, hot chocolate and coffee. It is perfect, although more expensive than most places. Dad and Mike really bonded last year. More fond memories.

This year we are going to the same place. i fell in love with it last year, and want to go back. i am excited about going this year. i am taking back my traditions. Well that is how i see it. i am also going to be looking for a Yule log while trudging threw the lot. i want that tradition back in my life. L has been very encouraging about me getting back to where i used to be a very long (pre MIT) time. She doesn't know how much just seeing Her alter reminds me of what i used to do, and pushes me (quietly) to enjoy the different celebrations i have been neglecting.

Today i am doing something new. i am going with P and E to Kitchener for some holiday cheer and shopping. i have never been there for this, so it should be fun. No kids are allowed, except for E and i. i am really excited and can't wait until after 12:30 when P and E will be picking me up. i have some money from working on Thursday so i can buy some more decorations for my house. i can also find stuff to give to those last few people on my list. i am going to enjoy today.

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