i am so stressed out right now. i am not comfortable in any of my clothes. i can't seem to settle. i haven't wrapped the MIT's pressent. i am shaking about going to this without Mike. He would have fought tooth and nail about entering a church, but He would have come. He would be sitting next to me, watching the MIT take this leap from being a member of the church, to being an adult in the eyes of the church. He would also have kept me safe from my Mom's yelling.
That is what i am worried about. i am worried about how my Mom's stress is going to be taken out on me. i am sure she is going to find something wrong with how i am dressed. She will find something wrong with how i wrap the cross the MIT is getting. She will find fault in the tone of my voice, the way i look at her, my silence, my voice. She will find fault in anything i do, and i am in no mood to deal. If i could get away with having alcohol on my breath when she picked me up, i would definitly down a bottle of Bailey's. Instead, if they have communion, i will be taking more than a sip of the wine.
Well, time to take a deep breath, put on makeup, and try to calm down.
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