Yesterday i had a pretty good "To Do" list. i got only a few things on it done.
1. i went to aquafit....all by myself!!!!!!! i am so proud of myself in going. i am also going to miss not going today or tomorrow. i have actually started looking forward to it.
2. i got all my reflexology stuff in order, and did another foot procedure. i only have 57 procedures to do before my final practical exam. i still have to book my written midterm, and then later, my final midterm. i also still have to do my practical midterm (i can do that after another 17 procedures). i now "again" have a standing appointment with E every Wednesday night. i am going to soon be getting her to help me test. i am going to have her follow the procedure along and ask me questions, and even make sure i am doing all the stuff i am supposed to.
3. i slept in my bed last night. i did not sleep between the two big blue blankies. i slept under regular covers, like a normal person would. No more sleeping on the covers for me.
Today is my therapy day. i have to go today, since Friday is a holiday. i am not ready to do this today. Everything is so close to the surface, and i am trying so hard not to let it all explode out of me. There are just so many emotions coming, that i am holding back on, that if i let them explode, i am scared of being drowned in them. So, i block them. Hold them in and do things like not watch TV all day, just read, clean, and think of anything except what i am feeling.
Also today is the pot luck my family would go to. my whole family, including Mike. Tonight would also be our night alone together before He headed off to His other home. i am avoiding all of that by going to the Hamilton Munch tonight. The MIT will be going with my parents and Sis. Just not me. i just can't go and keep my emotions in check. Like i said, my emotions are all on the surface.
This weekend, i may have more plans than i thought. So far, i have a reflexology session planned (L is coming here). There is talk that there be more going on this weekend. i will see how it goes.
Well, time to get the MIT off to school. Right after that, i have to get all the garbage out. Then off to shower and get dressed, and leave for therapy. After that, i don't know how i will feel. i am thinking i will need a nap. Off i go
1 comment:
Wendy, I just wanted to let you know that I stopped by your blog this morning. I was looking for one of the blogs that has "search all blogs" at the top and your title caught my attention.
I have often told people that I felt like the Velvetine Rabbit. Like I am real and I wasn't before. I'm sorry for for your loss and I pray that things will get better for you.
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