Dear Sir

i have been thinking about You alot. i am really missing You. Your touch and Your voice aren't here anymore and i really wish they were. i really wish You were. i am wearing the "dress" cuffs You had made for me. i need them to remember who i am. i am Yours. i will always be Yours. i can't even think about being anyone else's. It is just who i am. Yours.

You would be proud of me i think. i passed my reflexology. i have the wheelchair van now. i hope that You are proud of me. Heck, i survived another Christmas without You. i survived another New Years without You calling me. i even asked the doctor for help when things were getting really dark in my heart and head. i am taking care of Splotchy more. The Eeyore pillow You got me for my birthday has a hole in it. i am scared of using it and causing it more damaged. Hippo misses You too. He doesn't have anyone to bug anymore.

i still have lots of questions about how You died, and about why You died. i still get angry when i think about You dying and leaving me. i still feel like i must have pushed You so hard that You had to die. i still wish i could just wake up and You be here again. Tonight is one of those nights. The last few weeks have been like that. The nights are the worst. Knowing i won't hear from You in the morning, or that You aren't waking up in my bed.

i miss You
Your wendy/lyx