When the MIT is home, i enjoy being with Him and can concentrate on being His mom. When He is not home, i am wallowing, missing, not wanting to face the sun or the outside. This up and down sucks. He is not home yet, and i just want to crawl back into bed, wearing my cuffs and hide.
The cuffs make me feel better. Closer to who i used to be. Closer to who i am missing. i want to wear them all the time. i want to feel who i used to be more often. It isn't practicle. It isn't who i am right now. Right now i am just a lonely woman that feels lost. Right now i am a Mom. Right now i am boring with no life. Right now, i don't feel like i want a life. i enjoy being home. It is comfortable.
OK, the MIT is home now. Time to play Mom.
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