Bunches of stuff

3 years ago today, i started my first online journal/blog. Here is what i posted:

My First Time Well it is 11:02 PM and for some reason i have decided to start leaving those that know me and those that are interested, a keyhole to my life. I don't know how exciting this will be or how many will find it, but hope that if nothing else will give me a louder voice about what it is like to be both a submissive in a lasting relationship and the mom of a special needs child. So to all that might read it, i hope you find something here....

i can't believe it has been that long. It feels like forever now. i am sure i have changed a lot since then, either through desire or circumstances. i know i am different now. i don't know if it is in a good way or not.

Last night was weird. i talked E into going to the social in our old dungeon. P ended up coming as well. There were people there that i hadn't seen in ages (and i have to say, didn't miss). It was a big crowd. There were even more people at the upstair's bar. i left a little early. A couple showed that i wanted nothing to do with. They arrived and i went into panic mode. E was great with timing when we would go up for a smoke. When we came back down, one half of the couple was sitting in one of our seats. That was about the end for me. i had to get out of there. i just couldn't do it anymore. i came home and went to bed as soon as my Sis left. i handled it the way i needed to. i avoided them. i ended up avoiding saying goodbye to everyone else. i am mad at myself about that today. i gave them the power to get me out of there. i just handed it over. i didn't get to say goodbye to people i like, because of 2 people. i need to remember this, and figure out how to take that power back.

Today is going to be a bit of an easy day. i have to go to the doctor's this morning, and then therapy this afternoon. i haven't asked my Mom for help with this. i have been dealing with it on my own. Yeah me! After therapy, my Mom is taking the MIT to karate. After that, i have no MIT until Sunday night. Yeah me!!

Tonight is the beginning of my birthday weekend. i have no plans for tonight, and i haven't made plans for tomorrow (as told). Tonight is going to be along the lines of tidying up the house to where i can handle it. With the MIT being home from school all week, things have been let go a little. At least the kitchen isn't too bad. i have kept up on the dishes. The living room and the bed rooms are the worst. They will need a bit of attention. i am not going to be pushing myself to much. i am still in that mindset that if it gets done, then great, but if not, oh well.

Tomorrow, well i have one hint. People are coming over (hence the slight need to clean). Beyond that, i have no idea what to expect. E has already been really nice and removed all the hair from all my areas that needed the attention. Damn she is good. Now i don't have to feel embarrassed when going to the pool or anything, anymore.

Sunday will be the family celebration. i know i am having sweet and sour meatballs with rice. It is the dinner i always ask for. That will be nice to look forward to. i will also get to watch the race, without commercials.

Well, i guess that is all of an update i feel like doing. i have to get the MIT dressed and ready to leave. It is almost time to go off to the doctor's. i wonder what i weigh this week.....