Day with no Therapy

So my plan for today is trashed. my own fault. i am not mad at myself. It is just more of who i am.

See, my Sis lent her car out to someone. A friend she trusts. He took her baby and damaged it. He is fine. The car, not so much. The back driver's side tire is all bent in, with wrecked metal on the in side. She needs a vehicle to go to her 2 jobs and to keep her sane. She is a big support to me right now. i need her to be sane. i have lent her my vehicle. So, for me, i have no means of transportation other than my feet, or a bus. This means no aquafit. i have already told E.

i am worried i am no go to E as far as getting her to aquafit (i have proven that) and that she will get upset with me at one point. i will talk with her about that this weekend. i am feeling like a really bad friend. Like i have to justify my actions. But it isn't to her i really feel like i have to justify too. It is too myself. i know E will not be mad at me, and if she has an issue with me missing so much aquafit, she will talk to me about it. i know it is me justifying why i haven't gone, and justifying my actions to myself. Why do i feel like i have to explain myself so much? It really isn't about anyone other than me when i do it. hmmm.

Ok, it seems when i don't have to go to therapy, i get very introspective.

i still haven't felt any guilt over the weekend. i am very proud of myself, and that voice in my head. i am so proud of myself on that front that i am planning on going to an event on Saturday. It is an old event, but at a new location. i am actually excited about it. i even know what i am going to wear. It is going to be the "army brat" outfit i have. i like it. i feel playful and sexy in it. i can add pants for entry and going to the bathroom. i am excited about Saturday night. i doubt i will play, but that is fine with me.

Basically my day is going to be doing housework. Laundry, dishes, floors, even some dusting. i might even get adventurous and wash windows. Well, it is that time of year. Cleaning out the old, and making room for the new. Getting rid of the dirt and hibernating feeling of the winter, and letting in the beginning of the new season. i am not one to get rid of stuff during this time of year, and i don't plan on changing that. i do plan on dusting though. Here's hoping i have enough benadryl.

Well, i guess that is all for now. Seems like i have gone through some interesting thoughts this morning, and it isn't even 7:00 am. On to the rest of my day.