Blah

Today is Saturday. Today it is raining. Today the sun is not shining. Today seems very blah. Today i feel very blah.

i have not set up any goals for the week. i guess now would be a good time to do so.

1. Shower 4 times this week
2. Get dressed 4 times this week
3. Go out 4 times this week
4. Moisturize 2 times each day
5. Drink 64oz of water each day
6. Clean the main living space 3 times this week
7. Go to Aquafit 3 times this week (even if i have to go on my own)
8. Eat 3 meals each day
9. Take my meds when scheduled

All achievable goals. i just need to really get down and do it. i need to be able to do this. i want to do this. i want to be able to say i have reached the goals i have set for myself. i haven't been very good at that lately. Even the sticker chart hasn't been working. i have got to find the motivation inside myself. It is very hard for me to find right now. i just have to find it.

The MIT is doing ok. He had a rough week. Migraine Wed-Thurs. At least one side gone for 4 days out of this school week. Other than that, He is a very nice kid to be around right now. That makes my life easier. i just wish i was a nice person to be around right now. i don't think i have been, and it makes things more difficult for Him. i have got to find a balance for us both.

Finally go rid of the useless lift from my bathroom. i donated it to a nice man that has MS and is getting prepared for the future. i figured, it was donated to me, and so i would pass that on. The man was very impressed when i asked nothing for it. For some reason though, it is feeling like a loss. Mike got it for the MIT way back when. It was given to Him from someone He worked with and they no longer needed it after the spouse's death. He was very thoughtful in getting it for the MIT, and was thinking of the future. i feel like i have given a part of Him (the caring part that i still love) away.

i hate feeling blah. That is definitely how i feel right now. Blah. i must figure out a way to change that feeling.