Here, but not here

i know i have been sounding kind of chipper lately, and i am, in a way. i am also not wanting to isolate myself. i am not wanting to hide under my rock. i am just not in the mood for certain things right now.

Sitting at the computer playing games just isn't in my blood right now. i just don't feel the pull to it. Sitting on the couch, and reading the paper, or sitting on my bed and colouring, those are things i want to do. Going for a drive and finding a nice place to walk around would be great.

Today my mind is on camping. It is Wednesday. i really want to go on Friday. i can't afford it though. It is very likely i won't be able to go. Instead i will just be home alone. No fire. No birds flying around me. No squirrels chasing each other around. No quiet skies full of stars. No sound of wood burning. No shivering as i sit around the fire. Damn i want to go really bad.

i haven't done my decorating yet. i fell more like sitting and doing nothing. Pouting about this weekend.

1st day of Dec.

Today i am going out with Sis to get some presents for people. She is my backup. She is the way i stay sane during this season. Part of the reason why i am doing the shopping now, is because i can't handle a lot of crowds.

Today is also the day i start to decorate the house. i still haven't pulled up the decorations, but i have the rest of the day to get it done. The bathroom is fun. The living room is a little stressful, but i have pictures from last year to help me remember where everything goes. Other than that, the kitchen is basic, as is the hallway. i want to hang lights outside, but i don't really know exactly what i want to do. i will have to think on it.

So i have a busy day today. Sis is going to be a good help.