Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Samhain, Happy Halloween

The MIT is home. He has been home since Sunday night. He has yet to have a good night sleep, but i am determined to send Him to school today. He needs to get back into His routine. i am so happy He is home. We have had a good couple of days of doing very little, napping during the day, and trying to figure out how to feed Him on an Australian schedule. i did get presents. i got sand from 2 beaches. i got lots of pictures. i got an Australian jacket. i think that is it.

Tonight we were supposed to go to Toronto to celebrate Samhain and Halloween. The MIT is still off, and with this being His first day back at school, i don't think either He or i could handle going out of town. He is already feeling anxious with the idea of going back to school, and i don't want to add in more anxiety for Him. Instead, He and i will be handing out candy to any kids that come to our door.

i need to figure out what i am going to dress as. i am thinking little red riding hood, with a twist. i haven't worn that outfit in a long time, and i think i want to again. On top of that, i want to do a Samhain ritual. i need to set up my alter, and get some apples to bury, and some sage to cleanse the house, and some pictures of Mike and Papa for the alter.

Well, that is all for today. After the MIT leaves for school, i am going to lie down in bed, and then head to the store for candy, apples, and other things for my alter, and the day.

Happy Halloween, and happy Samhain everyone

Monday, October 22, 2007

Day 22 of October "vacation"

6 more sleeps. 6 more sleeps until the MIT comes home. 6 more sleeps until my baby is here, under my roof. 6 more sleeps until my Mom and Dad are back, and i don't have all the responsibilities. 6 more sleeps and life is sort of back to normal. That is all that is left, and i want it to be shorter. i want them all home. i have wanted them all home since last week. i have been missing them to bits. i have walked into the MIT's room and laid in His bed, and wished He was here. Yes, it is official. i am missing Him to bits, and it feels really good.

Last week was rough. i couldn't leave the house. i would have a shower. i would get dressed. i would have a list of things to get done. Then i would start to hyperventilate. my chest would get tight. i would start to shake. i just couldn't leave the house. i was feeling so much. Missing the MIT, my Mom and my Dad. Missing Mike, and talking to Him. Feeling sad, and hurt, and missing, and crying. i just couldn't leave.

It got all better, when i was able to IM with my Dad. Finally i had actual contact with them. They had been traveling across Australia. They had been staying in hotels. They didn't leave me which hotels they were in, or even which town they were in. That was the worst. Finally on Saturday, they were back in Sydney. They weren't out and about. They were back at Kay's. Everything was better then. i could call them if there was a problem. i knew where they were. They weren't in some hotel room, with no way for me to call and check on them. Everything was better then.

So, i am better now, and waiting for them all to return home to me. i can't wait to hug them, to cuddle with my MIT, to actually touch them.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Day 11 of October "vacation"

So, i haven't written in a few days. OK, almost a week. Not much to really tell.

My Sis has been doing better. What i mean is i haven't caught her in any lies since the last set. She has also agreed to come to therapy with me tomorrow. That is a good sign. Right?

What have i been doing? Not much. i haven't travelled anywhere. i haven't gone on any adventures. i have walked in two different woods, looking for acorns and willows. i found a cool stick, and may make something out of it. i did finish another ceramic project just for Halloween. i like it. It is my "Spooky bowl". Pictures will be at the end of this entry. i got a post card from the MIT. It tells me that He isn't missing me. i love Him, but sometimes it would be nice to just hear (or read) that He misses me a little.

Today i had a massage (1/2 hour). my reflexology teacher is a massage therapist. She worked on the area of my back that seems to be spasming. It hurt while she was working on it, but i regained some of my range of motion. Yesterday, when i did 2 reflexology session, i had to take a muscle relaxant so i could do the procedures. She also gave me some stretches to do, to help keep and expand my range of motion.

The other exciting thing that happened today, is that my dryer broke. Stopped dead. Won't run at all. It is 10 years old. i emailed Mom and Dad, and i am going with my Nana to get a new one. We are doing that tomorrow morning.

This coming week, i have stuff i want to do. i want to go to St. Jacob's village and wander around. i need it to be good weather, and not rain. i also want to go for a walk on the beach. That would be something nice to do. Tonight, i am just going to watch my favourite shows and then head off to bed early.

Spooky Bowl

Friday, October 05, 2007

Day 5 of October "vacation"

So, it is Friday and i have therapy today. i have so much to talk about. Way too much to talk about. There has been drama with my Sis again. There is also my adventures for the last few weeks.

my Sis. Well, she was given an ultimatum by my parents. One more secret, one more lie, and she would no longer be living in their house. She was supposed to be keeping a detailed account of what she spent and where it went. Well, guess what. There was one more, and i had to find it. She actually thought she could "fix" things while my parents were away. She has been driving without insurance since the 15th of Sept. This ultimatum was given at the end of Sept. It should have come out back then. She kept it secret. She was sure she could "fix it before they got back". She also got a "pay as you go" credit card from Much. Another secret. Another one of those "it would be gone before they got back" situations. So i found out. The i searched her room. She gave me reason. She told another lie. She deserved no privacy. Good thing i did it. Turns out, she had a roach in her room. In my parent's house. Plus i found one of her journals. Yes, i read it. She lied to ME. To MY face. She had continued to carry and sell stuff after she promised me she would stop. The promise she made back in June. The stuff she was doing was in July.

i confronted her first. She came out with the same old stuff. i wanted her out of the house right then. i wanted her to figure out she was fucked. i called my parents. i didn't know what else to do. They are letting her stay in the house until they get home. Then she is out of the house. my punishment is different. i am done. i am finished with her. i can't trust her for anything anymore. i no longer trust her with the MIT. She no longer gets to see the MIT. That is the end of that. No more looking after Him. No more talking to Him. No more anything to do with Him. my contact with her is now limited to me going to the house and checking the mail. No more talking to her. No more after that. i am done.

As for my adventures, well, i went to St. Catherine's to get the selenite candle holder i had put on one side at Pagan Pride. i then decided to take the back roads home. i got lost a bit, but found i recognized stuff in the area, and made it home ok. i also went to ceramics class, and finished 2 projects. One is here. He is Green Man. i painted Him all by myself. i did it differently than anyone thought i should, and He turned out great. i am proud of Him. He is now hanging in my living room, where the picture of the MIT and Mike Myers was hanging. He looks good where He is. i'll hang the picture in a different place.

Speaking of the MIT, my Dad sent me a few pictures from Australia. They look like they are having a lot of fun. They walked through a shark tank in a glass tunnel with the fish swimming right around them at the Aquarium. At Wildlife World, they saw Koalas and the MIT touched a lizard.
This weekend, i am going to do something. i am not sure what yet. Sis wants us to have dinner together. i am not sure. Yes it was my idea first, but now i am so mad at her. i just don't know if i can have dinner with her, and not get emotionally hurt again. i will have to think about that. i may go to St. Jacob's village. i may go to the Cambridge outlet mall. i may just stay home and watch movies, and make myself food, just for me. i am not sure yet. i am still moseying.

Here are the pictures from Australia

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Day 2 of October "vacation"

So they called last night. They had made it. They were at Kay's place, and had settled in a little bit. i had expected them to call around 8:00pm, but they didn't call for an hour. Mom let me know that the MIT had a rough go of it on the first flight. He had gone full blown and had seized a number of times. i hated hearing that. i didn't need to know that. i wish i was there to make Him feel better. i wish i was there to hold Him and do "magic". Hell, i just wish i was there to snuggle with Him and make sure He really is ok. At least they made it ok. At least they are there and get to have fun now. i just wish she had let me hear His voice. Oh well.

Yesterday i did exactly what i said i would. i read all day. i relaxed in the house and outside, wearing my sarong. i only answered the phone if it was long distance or family. i ended up reading the entire Deathly Hallows book. It was really good. i cried at spots where Harry reminded me of me. Pushing away his grief to do what he had to do. i cried at Hagrid's reaction to carrying Harry to the school. It was a great book. i am sad it is the last of the series.

Today is an easy day. i am going to go with the whole moseying idea from camp. Today is a visit to the doctor's. Today is going to Chapters and Michaels and other places to just wander. Today is getting groceries finally. Today i also have a reflexology session lined up. Someone new, and here at my place. i have decided to move where i do the sessions, since the wheelchair is away in the MIT's room.

Well, that is that. i don't know if i will be posting every day or not. i'm just going to go with the flow of things. Until next time.....

Update : well, my client for tonight cancelled. i didn't go get groceries. i did get 4 new books. i think that is what i am going to do tonight. Read and relax, and go to bed early and sleep in late tomorrow. i wish it was sunny out.

Monday, October 01, 2007

First day off

The MIT, my Mom and my Dad left yesterday. Right now they are flying over the ocean. They have passed Hawaii.

Today i plan on doing nothing. No driving. No cooking. No cleaning. No talking on the phone. All i am going to do is read, sit on my back patio, listen to music, maybe watch some TV. Other than that, nothing. Even computer stuff is being put on hold (once i am done posting). i have the last Harry Potter book to read. i have stayed away from spoilers as much as possible. i am going to enjoy reading it. i am not even planning on getting that dressed. i have a sarong on. i am loving it. Oh, and it fits better than when it was bought for me last year.

Tomorrow will be other stuff. Going to the doctor's. Going to Chapters. Going to Michael's. Getting groceries. Basically running around. Wednesday will be getting back to doing my ceramics class. i have 3 projects on the go, and one to start. Thursday may be chili cooking day. That or stew day. i haven't decided yet. i will decide tomorrow when i am getting groceries for the week.

Other stuff i am going to be doing differently this month is walking more, taking the bus more, eating healthier, sleeping in, taking drives to enjoy the outside. Stuff like that. Stuff where i don't have to worry about what time i get home, or if i am on call for the MIT.

Well, time to go and read and relax.