Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
It is a sad statement to say i had to dust off my toys. That is how long they haven't been used. One of the reasons for dusting them off, is they will probably be used this weekend.
What else. Tomorrow the MIT has His EEG. He is really worried about it. He is getting to take the whole day off school for it, even though it is in the afternoon. It is likely that He will go full blown, but the hope is He won't. The big van is being taken just in case. All i need is a full blown kid and no wheelchair. Nope, not going to take that chance. i hope He behaves in school today. i don't need another day of Him giving the lunch lady the finger. i do enjoy His 8:00pm bed times though.
Monday, February 25, 2008
The anger is from my meeting at the MIT's school. Seems they have issues with the MIT walking around the cafeteria at lunch time. Seems they have an issue with Him actually socializing with people His own age. Seems they want to stop Him doing it. OK, i get that they are worried about His safety. i get that they don't have the staff they would like for the MIT at lunch time. i get that they have liability issues.
Still, it states in His IEP that some of the goals is for Him to be more social, more independent, use His wheelchair less, walk more, and initiate conversation with others. This is exactly what He is doing. He is socializing. He is talking to others. He is interacting with His peers. He is walking around without being told to do so. He is taking His chair with Him, because He knows He needs it. He is growing-up and now they want to shut Him down.
This is going to hurt Him. He is going to get angry (actually, i broached the subject with Him and He actually said the F word). He doesn't understand. He thinks He did something wrong. He thinks they don't trust Him. He is starting to blame His disability again. He is back to hating who He is. i don't think they really know what this is going to do to Him.
i have fought tooth and nail, and He has grown. He is maturing. He is actually socializing! He is actually making friends! This is a huge step for Him. i just can't believe they are going to take that away from Him.
So now, i am cleaning. i have vacuumed my ceiling (And to whoever invented the popcorn ceiling...i hate you). i have filed my income tax. i have done dishes. i have rearranged stuff in the basement. i have vacuumed my room. Next on my list is dusting and more moving stuff in the basement. Gods i am angry
He had dropped of the face of the earth when his then wife and him divorced. He went threw a number of submissives since then. He has since been diagnosed with cancer. He is still fighting it. He remembered me, and when he saw my picture, he recognized me and decided to contact me. He didn't let on that he knew me. It took him talking about fireplay for me to realize i might know him. If he had contacted me the way he would have normally done, we wouldn't have ended up talking. i would have brushed him off in a hurry.
So, now, i am having him over for dinner on Saturday. No expectations. Just a hug and a kiss is all we have really talked about. i am excited. This is someone i always wanted to play with. This is someone that i noticed fall off the face of the earth. This is someone i have no concerns saying to my family (extended one) that i am seeing. This is someone i feel comfortable saying i am interested in. This one feels right.
Friday, February 22, 2008
i also hit another milestone. my blood sugars are more normal today. The doctor and i increased my one med. She increased it more than i thought, but it seems to be working. That, along with my watching what and when i eat. The only problem with this increase in med, is that it makes me feel more hungry at times when i am not normally hungry. i am back to eating by the clock, and pacing when my brain thinks i am hungry. my only other defense is to sleep. Maybe that is an option. Then again, the point is to also get in more activity, so sleeping more is counter productive.
Other than that, the MIT has been doing well. His meds have also been increased. Since then, He has actually walked off the school bus 2 times this weekend. Yeah! That is 2 times this entire month. That is a big deal. Also, He just came home from karate. He now has a stripe. He hasn't tried for a stripe in like....forever. He actually tried for, and got a stripe. i am sooooooo very proud of him.
Monday, February 18, 2008
i am still good.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The MIT had one of His "passed out, come too, vomit, pass out" episodes. i called the ambulance early. i got Him to the hospital quickly. He scared a bunch of the nurses and doctors. He was in and out of consciousness for over 7 hours. They ran a CT and an ECG and found nothing wrong. His white count was a little high, but they think it is because He actually was having multipule seizures. After the 7 hours, He was back to His regular self. Walked right out of the hospital after having something to eat. We do have followup with His nuerologist. We may be changing His meds. At least He got better in time to go to Rygiel this weekend. That meant my "date" could go as planned
i met the guy on Collar Me. He was supposed to be dominant. Yeah right. He is more a submissive that thinks doming means pleasing the submissive and not himsef. That was fine, especially since i really needed to be "pampered". Let's just say, oral is a good thing. Oral for 3 hours is a good thing. Especially when you are the one receiving it.
To me, it was a nice "date". i got to be pampered and road hard sexually. i needed it. i needed the sexual release. Yes i am feel stiff from muscles barely used in almost 2 years. Other than that, i am feeling much more relaxed. i never new i could orgasm that many times. i never knew i was not just a gusher but a squirter at times. i know...TMI.
i don't know if i will ever see him again. i am inclined not to. i got what i needed, and am ready to move on. i don't want to be with someone that is "that" submissive. i need someone that can hurt me and not feel guilty about it. Yes the sex was good, and well needed, and well deserved, but i don't think i want anything more from him.
Overall, i am a happy camper today. Who knows what will happen next.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The MIT and i are still watching Charmed. We are onto the second season. We should be finished on Thursday. i have no idea when we will be getting the third season, but i know He is looking forward to it. It is a nice family time we spend together. We don't just sit there and watch. We cuddle, we talk about what we are seeing, He uses His imagination and pretends to have magical powers. It is nice. The best time is first thing in the morning, before school, during breakfast. The idea of watching an episode prompts Him into getting dressed and ready for school quickly. No arguing or anything.
i have been doing really well with taking all my meds. i have also started charting my calories. It isn't that i am trying to loose weight, as i am maintaining without even thinking. It is more just so i can see what i am eating and when, and to see if there are healthier choices i could be making.
Well, the MIT just got home, so off i go to that life.....
Saturday, February 09, 2008
- i want to start and herb garden in the spring
- i want to buy books on wicca, herbs, and oils
- i want to paint my bathroom
- i want to repot many of my plants as they outgrow their smaller pots
- i want to get a freezer, and actually be able to stock-up on food
- i want to get a Nintendo DS, a Wii, and games, for the MIT for His birthday
- i want to start making things to give people during special occassions
i am even starting to look around the house for stuff to sell. Yes it is that bad. If only i could get a client, a paying client, booked. Ok, a couple of paying clients. God that would be nice. When will this happen for me?
Thursday, February 07, 2008
When the MIT and i watch it, we sit on the couch together, and pause at funny things, share shock at the "guest stars". It is fun to sit there with Him and watch a show we used to watch, and remember what we can about "way back then". The MIT and i have fun watching it, and we connect watching it. It is something that we do together and cuddle together, and enjoy together. We are having fun with it.
i am also remembering when Mike would sit and watch the MIT and i as we watched the show. He knew that the time and day of the show was special for me and MIT and he would sit and watch with us, or go to the bedroom and read. For someone that "turned" wiccan, He sure had a weird reaction to the show. i do remember Him asking me questions about what was real, and what wasn't, what was possible, and what wasn't.
OK, this is sounding jumbled. Time to go.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Today is Pancake Tuesday. This is one of my Son's celebrations. i have decided this year to be more involved with His traditions, as well as mine. So in that spirit, we are going to pancake dinner at the church i grew up in, and He calls home. Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, and i may even join Him in that. i am actually going to give up some stuff for lent, just as He is. We are going to decide tonight what we are giving up / sacrificing for the next 40 days until Easter (Sundays don't count. Do the math)
You might be asking yourself, how can a woman, that is a solitary practioner, support her Son's need for Christianity. It is easy. It is all about faith. The fact that we both have faith is the main thing. The fact that we practice different "celebrations" and a few phylosophies is of no consiquence. He has always known that i support His, and He is starting to support mine, even if He doesn't quite understand them.
On top of all this, i have other things to "report". He is finally back at school. After 1 week of being off sick, then 2 weeks for exams, and 1 day for a snow day, He is finally back at school. i do have some work to do on the school front, as they have taken Him out of one class, and put Him into gym. Plus, gym is early in the day. This is a forcast for many days of loss of muscle tone for the rest of the school day, and little being accomplished. If gym was even moved to the end of school, the last period, i could handle that. At least then, he would be able to participate in His other classes.
One other good thing. i won a bet and got a one hour massaage. Damn it felt good. It felt nice having someone's hands on me again, even if it was because of a bet. The massage oil we used was a peppermint and eucoliptus blend. It sure drained out the sinuses. It was a nice way to spend an hour yesterday morning.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Now all i have to hope is that my doctor's appointment isn't cancelled, because i don't know how long i can deal with this pain. This damned cyst is killing me. The antibiotics are killing me. Well, not really killing me, but draining me of energy. The pain is bad when i have to move around. The antibiotics make my stomach feel really bad.
Yeah for no school, but booo if my appointment is cancelled.