Time for a reality check

Time for me to list all the things that make me happy. i think it is a perspective i really need right now.

• Spending mornings with the MIT watching TV series on DVD.
• Cuddles with the MIT.
• Figuring out what plants to put in my house, garden, and boxes.
• The way my family supports me.
• The way my friends support me.
• Spending time with my family (yes even if we fight a bit).
• Spending time with my friends (all of you. P&E, L&D, S, D&H, B).
• Playing with kids in the neighbourhood.
• The green in my house.
• Keeping my house somewhat clean and in order.
• Sleeping with Splotchy, My Baby Bear, Elli, Hippo, and Eeyore.
• Rocks.
• Flowers.
• Knowing that i am taking my meds every day, and when i am supposed to.
• Actually cooking (i know, this hasn't been one for a very long time).
• Sunshine (that is why i am opening my blinds every day).
• Making my bed every day.
• BBQ'ing.
• Lighting candles.
• The look on the face of the MIT when He finds out i will be letting Him stay up late to see a movie.
• The MIT hugging me and jumping up and down when He is happy.
• Looking at pictures of Mike.

So, yes, even in this time of grief, i can find things that make me happy. i have to hold on to these. It is a tool. i know that. i just have to remember it. It is hard. The grief feels so overwhelming. Remembering what makes me happy, or feel good on the inside, is hard to find sometimes. This morning, i needed to remind myself.