Still with the Charlie

I am really thinking something out.  Karen, my therapist, says to just let it go and enjoy.  I on the other hand, feel the need to think and ponder and think some more. 

Since getting Charlie, I am no longer looking to fill a void.  A void I never realized I had.  I haven't thought about calling / finding a man.  No drinking at all.  Even thoughts of quiting smoking, even though I can still afford it. 

So maybe it is time to do as Karen says.  Just enjoy what is happening, and see what happens.  Charlie is still a puppy, and still requires a lot of care.  He will become less of a handful, but will constantly need me.  Just like TJ.

Speaking of TJ.  I am legally his guardian.  I now have control over his finances, and medical decisions for the rest of his life.  When I first got the news....a deep breathe of thank the gods.  Seconds later, I was in tears.  I shouldn't.  This should be different.  He should be able to do it on his own.  Then I shared this and E said the perfect thing back to me.  She said how much she is missing the "control" she has over her kids, now that they are teens.  She is missing a lot of what I get to experience.  It made me think.  I was better. 

So congrats to me on filling a void without destructive behaviour.  Congrats to me for getting guardianship.  Congrats to me for having an 18 year old that cuddles and snuggles, and still needs me every day.