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Thursday, September 14, 2006

This and That

i started crying yesterday.  There was no reason.  No thought, just tears.  Uncontrollable, vomit inducing, stomach wrenching tears.  i couldn't figure it out.  Why would it have started?  It had been a good day.  i had gotten stuff done that i needed to get done.  i had talked with friends.  i had been laughing and everything had been good.  So why the tears?


It was then my Mom called.  Seems yesterday was Wednesday.  i have been good for Wednesdays for a little while.  So what if it was Wednesday?  Wednesdays hadn't been bad for a while, so why now?  Why yesterday?  It wasn't like i was thinking about Him.  It wasn't like i was going over how much i was missing Him.  Thoughts of Him didn't even cross my mind as i cried and vomitted.  Mom says i did too much.  It didn't feel that way.  It really didn't.  i still don't understand.


Tomorrow i start school.  After class, i go to Pam's to be with her and Ethan.  There is talk about lunch.  i don't know if we are going out or if Ethan is cooking.  They are busy as it is.  They are heading for vacation Saturday.  Saturday i am going to the Pagan Pride day here.  Danielle is coming with me.  i am not sure what is going to be happening Saturday night, but it is all good. 


i am so tired.  Just so tired all the time.  Tired right now even.  MIT will be home soon.  Then i get to make dinner and get the MIT ready for karate.  Actually, i am starting dinner now.  It will take a hour or so for dinner to cook.  After that, i will let it sit and wait for a while.  Maybe the MIT will eat some.  Then again, He might now.  He can be fickle.  Anyways, off to the mundane life i seem to be living. 


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