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Saturday, October 14, 2006

Bouncing

Different emotions over the couple of days.  Ups and downs.  Panic and calm.  Crying and not crying.  my emotions seem to be all over the place.


Thursday night, E and her kids came over and we decorated the living room for Oktoberfest.  It looks really cool, but it doesn't feel finished to me.  i know it is the perfectionist in me, so i am trying to let it go. 


Yesterday (Friday) was a difficult but not that bad of a day.  i woke-up and wished Mike a happy anniversary (it would have been 7 years since we met).  Then i looked at my "to do list".  i started to feel overwhelmed, but calmed myself down and got everything i had control over, finished. 



  • i got the MIT off to school

  • i packed the MIT's bag for a sleep over at my Mom's

  • i packed my school bag

  • i packed my "need for later" bag

  • i got to school on time

  • i went to St. Joe's for my therapy

  • i stopped at my place to check my bank account and pickup a coat (it was really cold out)

  • i went to E's and got ready to go to a porn night

  • i found E's son

  • i drove E and i to Toronto

  • we all went to see the porn show, found the lineup to large and decided on a movie and food instead

  • i drove E and i home

  • i actually went to be right after getting home


i didn't let the size of my list get to me.  Today, we (my friends) are having an Oktoberfest party.  i am finding it difficult not to get overwhelmed by the size of my "to do" list today.  So far, so good.  i am mainly concentrating on those things i feel i really need to get done, rather the impression my house will give off.  i am going to be concentrating on



  • going out and getting some diet pepsi and stuff

  • making the MIT's room tidy

  • vacuuming the house

  • making sure the bathroom is clean

  • doing the dishes

  • shower and shave!!!!


Anything else, isn't a "have to" it is just a "would like to".  So by concentrating on what i feel i need to get done (just so i feel comfortable with people in my house), i am limiting the amount of pressure i am putting on myself.  It seems to be working so far.  i still have less than 3 hours before people are coming over, but i can do a lot in 3 hours. 


So, here's to keeping things in perspective and to keeping my mind on what is happening now, and not worrying about what will happen when everyone comes over.


i am feeling mighty proud of myself right now.


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