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Monday, May 28, 2007

Plans, thinking ahead, happy future?

Today is a good day, and i am making plans.

1) i am getting serious about my reflexology, especially since i only have until December to get all the procedures i need, and my testing complete. So:
a) i have emailed my reflexology teacher, to book a date for my written mid-term test.
b) i have posted on facebook and a freecycle group i am a member of so i can get more procedures done.
c) i am booking appointments with friends, so i can get more procedures done.
d) i am going to Ikea to get a small computer chair to use during procedures.

2) i am doing waterfit again, thanks to P. He is hard to say no too, and i like it. So:
a) i will be going to waterfit at least 2 times each week in the day time
b) i will be going out and finding a new suit soon

Hmm, that is all i can think of for now. Who knows what i can come up with later. Part of this planning has to do with my therapy.

i am learning how to center myself using my Baby Bear. i just hope Baby Bear's paw can handle all the centering. i just keep stroking his paw, and breathing, and i seem to stop the roller coaster of emotions i am currently going threw. i do have to say that carrying around a stuffed animal all the time, looks a little weird, but it is the way i need to do things right now.

The MIT is doing good. He doesn't seem to be having too many problems with the new med He is on. No seizures since He has started them, but then again, He hasn't gone full blown since He started them. Going full blown seems to be the catalyst that starts the seizures. The med the doctor chose, is reported to help with episodes, so maybe that is also what is going on. Also with the MIT, the school is noticing that He is regressing in some areas. Especially physically. At least i am not the only one that is seeing it. That kind of makes me feel better.

And me? i am still angry at Mike. i am still mad that He can't say sorry for the biggest lie He told. i am still mad for all the shit that happened after His death. i still can't grasp why He didn't leave a will. At least if He had done that, He could have given explicit instructions as to what He wanted after His death. At least, maybe, i wouldn't have been made out to be the bad guy so much. My emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster. i never know when a high will hit, or when a low will hit. Lows suck. Highs feel great. i just like the in between so much better.

Anyways, time to start packing my bag for swimming, and to get a hold of someone about reflexology.

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