Cookies are being baked. Yule stuff has been bought. Christmas music is playing. Tree is lit. Head is pounding. The headache is something i can get past. It happens. It is actually a little motivating. Knowing that when i finish everything, i can lie down without interruption, is a good thing.
Last night was weird. After i posted, my sister called and said that i was being 10. That she remembers me, and her, doing the exactly same thing. She even agreed that baking wouldn't be a good thing, since a 10 year old can't bake by herself. i love my sister. She has become my best support since Mike has died. She is even playing Santa to me this year. i know she is getting me colouring books and some other stuff that Mike would usually get me. She is very special. i just wish i could help her as much as she helps me.
Later, when it was bed time, i grabbed my Christmas Eeyore. He has antlers and a scarf. Mike got it for me last year. i curled into bed, and suddenly i was crying. i haven't done that in a while. i just lay in bed, ignoring my other stuffed friends, and held Eeyore tightly, crying. It wasn't an all out heart breaking cry. Just a needing to grieve a bit cry. It didn't last long, and i did feel a bit better after i woke up. i guess i needed it.
Anyways, time to bake more cookies for Tuesday.
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