Tonight, I had to go to the ER. I spiked a fever today, and ended up ignoring TJ and slept most of the day. When I was finally ok enough to get up and moving, I fed TJ and myself, called the doctor on call, and then headed to the hospital.
The cyst I had (my second in 2 weeks and third in 2 months) turned into an abses. Yuck. Yuck and painful. I wasn't at the hospital too long, and they took good care of me. Considering how nervous I am about tomorrow, I think my body gave me something to worry about instead of the morning.
Tomorrow is my first group DBT session. The fist one out of 52. I am really really scared. OK, scared is not the right answer. Nervous. Very nervous. I have no idea what to expect. I know there will be a mindfulness exercise first. I know how to "act" with that. It is the rest of the stuff I am nervous about. The new people. How many people.
With the pain distracting me, I think I will have enough to keep my mind more calm tomorrow.
I have also started reading my Wicca books again. I know parts of the therapy include beliefs in a "higher power" and it is time I get back in touch with mine. So, reading, and walking barefoot in my backyard, at any time in the day, are my starter points.
Time to go to bed so I am up to my best, as much of my best I can be,
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