Plodding forward

TJ and I have had a good day.  We watched TV.  We had cuddle time.  We told each other jokes.  It was a nice day together.  Right now he is at karate.  Quiet time for me.  The nurse will be here when he returns. She will take care of giving him a bath and such.  I guess I should be happy and relaxing, but NOPE.  Instead I am antsy. 

I am having a hard time just even sitting here is difficult.  Concentrating on typing this is difficult (this bit should be part of my therapy and how I am doing section LOL).  I don't want to curl up and relax.  I don't want to go out back and read with candles and relax.  I keep wanting to move and pace and just feel jittery.  I guess it is time to invoke some of my little DBT training.  Also, I should write how I am feeling for tomorrow when I meet up with Karen.

Joseph has called twice.  He can be so cute.  Today he wanted to hear he was right.  Right about something called the OST.  He was, and I admitted it.  He also called to let me know I was right about something.  It is really cute the way we act.  If this was someone else's relationship, I would be saying that the way we are acting was so sweet it was giving me a tooth ache.

I didn't get to writing down my Beltane ritual.  I guess I have been feeling this way more than just now.  I just couldn't sit down and do it.  I got out my BOS.  I lit some candles.  I just couldn't put pen to paper.  Tonight is not the night to do it.  Not unless I can calm myself down. 

Off to try to calm down.  Find a settled down place in side myself.  Time to use ACCEPTS.  Time to do the dishes.  Time to find a way to settle.