Life goes on

Yesterday, I drove Joseph part way to the bus station, before he pissed me off even more, because he lied to me again.

Last weekend, I caught Joseph in a really big lie.  Money related, manipulative, bald face lie.  I gave him another chance.  Saturday, he lied again.  It was a stupid, little lie, but still a lie.  One that cost me money again.  Was totally disrespectful.  I realized he wasn't worth my respect, time, love or anything.  I told him to put on his shoes and that he was going home.  On the way to the bus station, he said that it was my fault that TJ was going to be upset.  That I was causing TJ pain because I was breaking up with Joseph.  That was when I pulled over and kicked him out of the car, and didn't care how he got home at that point.

Today, I am proud of myself.  I stood up for myself.  I decided I deserve more than being lied to.  I decided I deserve more than just someone who says they love me, verses someone that shows me they love and respect me.  That is how much I have come to love myself.  How much I like myself. 

I cooked up a bunch of meat, and now have meals ready for over a week.  I did go out and buy a cake, but came home and threw it out before having any. (Yay to not doing maladaptive behaviour!!!) I have gotten down to almost what I weighed when I got out of hospital back in March.  I am going to keep going that way.  It makes my back feel better when I am lighter.  That and the prepared meals, and I am good to go. 

I am proud of myself.  I am happy.  I don't need anyone else in my life, and am not going to look for it anymore.  If someone falls into my lap, and they treat me the way I deserve, than maybe I will consider it.  Until then, I am holding my head high.