Mike and Me - Fri, 29 Jul 2005

This morning really bothered me. Yes i put it in my email, but it is important, so i thought i would put it here also, so there is a more permanent record of my concerns. Why did You try to send me back to bed when i have to get up, check my sugars, eat, and email You? i was already an hour late taking my antibiotic. Plus with that med, i HAVE to eat. If i don't check my blood sugars, You get upset with me, and if i don't send You an email i get told about it. On top of all that, i do have to get up this morning. i have to get a shower, get ready for TJ getting up, and eventually go to the doctor's. i get that You would have liked me to sleep in, but i just can't do that. Especially if You want me to keep up on my meds and blood sugars and emails. So what was i supposed to do this morning, after saying to You "why don't You head back to bed", when You told me to go back to bed? Which command overrides the other command? What should my answer have been? i am doing my best to follow the rules, and yes i know it is an issue when You are in town. Could this not add to that issue? If i hadn't sat at the computer and got it done, could i have been in trouble for not sending the email to You? Could i have been in trouble for missing a blood sugar? How important are these rules to You? (daily emails, blood sugars at least 3 times a day) If it isn't that important, then why am i trying so hard to do it and why am i getting punishment strokes for it? Mixed messages are not helpful. They confuse me and make me uncomfortable and unsure. i do not want to be blamed for not being submissive enough to be used against me like it has in the passed. It feels like You are setting me up, making it so i make a mistake and then use it as an excuse for punishment later. i don't like thinking that. i get You were probubly concerned about me getting enough sleep, and that You were perterbed about me disturbing You. But still, it really pissed me off this morning