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Monday, July 04, 2005

Mike and Me - Mon, 4 Jul 2005

Mood: d'oh
Topic: How i feel

Your comment about Bridget wanting/offering to sit at the hospital with You really hurt my feelings. You know i would be there if i could. You know if i didn't have TJ for the summer i would be there in a heart beat. It felt like You were throwing Her desire to be with You in my face. i have been trying not to write this all day. i have been trying to look at it as a slip of the tounge, that you ment nothing by it. This is probubly the truth, but it doesn't change how it hurt me. i am really getting tired of having to ask you to think about how such comments would hurt me. How would you feel if you had to work and Peter had the day off, and i had to be at the hospital and He offered to be there for me? i know when i see You tonight that you will brush off her offer as meaning nothing. That you will brush off saying it to me as meaning nothing, and that if it was the other way around it wouldn't bother you. That all just makes it worse since it means my feelings are irrational. That my feelings don't count. For someone You are not thinking of playing with, for someone that doesn't have any interest in You, You sure bring up her name alot right now.

Mood: blue
Topic: How i feel

i need to say this too You, but i don't want what i say to change how You are doing things. i want You sleeping here all the time right now. i want to make sure YOu aren't sick. i want to make sure You don't get sick. i want to make sure You can do what needs to be done during the day, and lean on me if needed. i know, i am sounding like Your Mom or even Bev. i just worry about You alot right now, and having You here means i can make sure You are ok. Plus i miss being with You, and even lying beside You seems like alot right now. Anyways, that is just how i feel. Please don't make changes to what You need to do right now. You need to do what makes You happy and what will keep You going right now. Just remember i love You and will do whatever You need from me, including letting You sleep at Your place.

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